Update

Well, finally I saw an open door in my captivity and used it to my advantage. I've been able to return home. It seems I actually was in the rear house, I think I can see my catnapper's balcony from mine. What did I do upon my return on Thursday? I shit on the rug. I can't control it, the problem is that the brain surgeons who were keeping me captive only allowed me to eat cat food from the supermarket, out of a box or a can, not fresh meat as a cat should. Geniuses, I can't handle that stuff. It throws my digestion all out of whack. People, I am a tiger, I need meat. It seems that only my real owners understand this. They give me ground beef and pork, and bits of sausage. It doesn't beat a sweet, fresh mouse, but at least it's raw meat, as opposed to something from a package that I can't even open. Come on, how much sense does it make to put CAT food in a tin can? What am I supposed to do, bite it open and ruin my sharp, meat-eating teeth? Or maybe claw it open? I wouldn't waste my time and energy doing that anyway, the stuff tastes terrible and stinks to high heaven. You people think you're pretty smart, but you really have a lot to learn.